BAT CRISIS 2012

Tonight I came home and when I was walking up the stairs this thing flew at me and like touched my head and then flew up the stairs scaring the shit out of me!!

At first I thought it was a giant moth like they have in Tennessee, but then I remembered I am in Minnesota. No giant moths here in January. So I figured it was a scary little black bird.

I drank a beer and decided to go investigate the premises and if I could help the bird out I would do so. After the bird flew at me a few times and grossed me the fuck out, I went and got a flashlight. When I came back it seemed like the bird dissappered. I walked closer to where I thought it may have escapred out of, and that’s when I noticed the bird was HANGING UPSIDE DOWN BY IT’S FEET AND HAD FUR…

because it wasn’t a bird. It was a bat. The above is a recreation of the initial bat attack.

My crack addled neighbor came huffing and grunting up the stairs. I tried to get out of there to avoid having to talk to him. But to no avail. So, I told him about the bat. He pretty much wanted to catch it, and wanted me to help. I was like fuck you dude I ain’t touchin’ a fuckin’ bat.

So, I propped open a door in the hallway and hopefully the bat will escape without turning into a vampire and killing us all first. Or giving anyone rabies.